Your first date with a girl you’ve just met online can be a revelation. She may be the girl of your dreams with whom you’d want to spend the rest of your life, or a batshit nut case you’d soon want to forget about. Here are five red flags any of which tells you to avoid the girl like a plague.
As they say, first impressions count. If she tells you to meet in this or that diner and you’d know her by her red dress while waiting for you, cancel the date. It may seem an unfair judgment, but to be safe, know that women who wear red in front of an establishment frequented by people are either pimps or prostitutes who always want to be noticed by their customers who won’t miss them in their red outfits. And if you don’t show up, she won’t mind since she could be plying her trade anyway. A decent lady will most likely ask you to drop by her place to meet her folks before going on that date, or ask you to meet her at her office after 5. Another suspicious indicator is if she wants to meet with you in private, say in a motel room. She’s either paranoid about other people in public places or wants to have your baby right away. And once you meet her, check out what she’s wearing in a public place like a dinner or pub. Is she overdressed, underdressed or weird enough for other people to stare and make fun of her? You might want to cancel the date right there and then.
Talking while eating
Eating out is said to be the best indicator of how your girl behaves. Talking with her mouth full is everything you need to know about her manners. If she can’t have the discipline to show simple table manners, it would be an uphill battle for to be well-mannered and behaved elsewhere. If you’re an executive you occasionally like to entertain corporate or business VIPs at home with your wife, you don’t want to be embarrassed by her presence as your spouse on the table.
Talk about her friends
Ask her about her friends and colleagues and if you detect a hint of resentment or a few 4-letter words punctuating her description that impresses you as badmouthing them, you can be sure she’d do the same when talking about you with someone else. Ask her what she doesn’t like about them, and what she likes the most. If the answers lack some human logic that you can fathom, or even defy logic or understanding of human weakness, take note that you could be talking to a misogynist or one who can’t stand a relationship. Also, ask if she likes pets. People who love pets have been known to make good relationships. After the first date, if you have the chance to talk with people who know her, do so. Their viewpoint about her can be priceless.
Strike a conversation about your hobbies and hers. If you’re the adventurous type who likes parachuting and surfing the beach waves, someone who likes spending her weekends mountain climbing or bungee jumping is the perfect companion. But if her hobby includes collecting dead desiccated spiders, reading murder novels, spending time on the shooting range, or some other strange activities you can’t imagine being with her doing it, make a mental note that this would be your first and last date with her.
Get her reaction
Elicit some reaction like spilling a wine glass on her side. If she blurts out with “S” and “F” words while you’re apologizing, you can be glad the date will soon be over. Take note of how she orders. Is she courteous and respectful to the waiter? Or is she a boor and complains loudly of the slightest error with her order? Perhaps more telling is if you see her eyes darting from one side to the next, stares at other guests in the restaurant and even describes them with derision or scorn. She may betray a hint of paranoia that people around her are looking at her and may even indicate some misogyny that makes her suspicious of everyone.
Thank heaven for such a thing as a first date. Online dating can be so contrived with posts and pictures that can impress you that the girl at the other end is your soul mate. This can go on for weeks and months but it only takes a few minutes of a face to face encounter to confirm your impression or give you a thoroughly more precise assessment that the girl in front of you is a batshit nut case. The last thing you want is a girlfriend with an annoying personality disorder.